Sunday, May 27, 2007

Garoo Soo

This is Wolf "Stompy" Blitzoo, reporting live on the Garoo Soo as it happens. Except it happened yesterday.

There's much pandemonioo here, as humoos and kitties are in an uproo to get things rounded up, priced and moved outside. Yes, the humoos have tons of crap to unload on an unsuspecting publoo...

*Cut to picture of sunrise. Queue muzak. Voiceover: "Excuse us for this short break in your regularly scheduled programming*

The humoos have volumes of the most exquisite housewares, decorative arts and furniture to make available to the public at astonishing savings. There are lovely furnitures and fabrics, absolutely covered in cat hair.

*Cut to picture of sunrise. Queue muzak. Voiceover: "Excuse us for this short break in your regularly scheduled programming*

There are lovely furnitures and fabrics, all tested and approved as pet-safe.

The tables are set up. The goods are priced. Jenn, Jim and Leone have divided up the change. And...

*crickets chirping*

But wait! Here comes a car. Here comes a car.

There goes a car. There goes a car.

*crickets chirping*

Wait. This time... Yes! They're stopping.

And there is a flurry of commercial activity. Jenn, Jim and Leone have cleared five dollars. And someone else is pulling up--$11.00! Oh, it's a madhouse. It's a madhouse.

*crickets chirping*

$11.25. Madhouse.

*crickets chirping*

At the two hour mark, Jenn, Jim and Leone have now made enough to pay for the ad they took out for the garoo soo. It's pure profit here on in.

Yup.

Profit.

*crickets chirping*

A few people. A few drops of rain. A few more people. A few more drops. Darkening clouds.

At least the threat of rain is keeping those damn crickets away.

And, with almost $40.00 pure profit, the deluge!

Prices drop, particularly on drenched books with the print all run together.

Leone packs, while Jenn and Jim run off to make dumps of stuff whereever they can.

Salvation Army doesn't do pickups after Garoo Sales. They "don't want what you can't sell." Oh, all high and mighty! Our charity is too good for your donations. Well, Jenn and Jim will just dump the stuff on their back steps, like some toxic waste disposers in the middle of the night, slurking off into the darkness like roaches avoiding the light of day...

*Cut to picture of sunrise. Queue muzak. Voiceover: "Excuse us for this short break in your regularly scheduled programming*

Jenn and Jim donate valuable goods to the Salvation Army, using their approved drop-off point.

Then they donate some goods to St. Vincent de Paul, who are so polite and thankful. Jenn and Jim totally recommend giving goods to St. Vincent de Paul, a worthwhile charity, and such friendly people.

And so, with their house 30% less cluttered, and their pockets lined with almost $40 Canadian in profit, Jenn, Jim and Leone would like to thank their loyal customer base, commend the fine people of St. Vincent de Paul, and bring an end to our programming day.

This is Wolf "Stompy" Blitzoo signing off.

OK Signing Off
Wolf "Stompy" Blitzoo.

5 people left us caaaandy:

Blogger Leone said...

I nominate that for a poolizter! I really like the visual interludes. It was an excellent report of the garage sale and we will be sure to bring back dessert from our 'woo we had a garage sale' dinner.

Kisses for Bears!

3:04 PM  
Blogger liz said...

Laughing my tushie off.

8:26 PM  
Blogger Dogeared said...

Very funny, Bears!

6:46 AM  
Blogger allison said...

Oh dear. I am sorry that the garoo soo did not result in more profoo.

9:31 AM  
Blogger Angela said...

I'm sorry to hear the garage sale didn't go as well as hoped. Maybe next time Spike and Chuck should threaten to bite people if they don't come!

1:38 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home