Monday, November 15, 2004

How do humoos see Bears?

Hi, this is the famous Bear anthropologoo Margaret "Calliope" Meade. We were talking with Jenn, and she said her sistoo Julia said that kitties think humoos are other kitties, and keep trying to relate to them as kitties. So they try to figure out whether each humoo is a dominoo kitty, or a mama kitty.

And according to independent researchin', squirrels see humoos as other squirrels.*

So we started to wonder, what do humoos see Bears as? To answoo this questoo, I've gone into deepest, darkest Jim's living roo to find out first hand.

First I met with Stompy.

Stompy: I think that humoos think Bears are a higher form of life than humoos, and aspire to be like us. Look at how sometimes Jim will sit for hours in front of the computoo, or the TV, not moving at all, just like a Bear. And when Jenn comes to visit, sometimes they'll both just sit there, watching the TV, like Bears.

That's very interesting.

I then met with Blinky. What do you think humoos think of Bears, Blinky?

Blinky: It's hard to tell what sorts of thoughts go on in their minds, because their thinkoo is very primitoo. If they didn't have primitoo thought processoo, they would have elected Kerry. Or Stompy, like the Bears and rafs did. I think it would be far easier to understoo the thought processoo of a lizard. Lizards seem very intelligoo. They like to lie in the sun, like a Bear, and not vote for a stoopid presidoo.

Thank you for the insight. How about you, Spike?

Spike: I don't know how humoos think, but they did a good job coming up with Jim's 'Merican 'Spress Card, so we can go on the internoo and have caaaandy delivered directloo to our doo.

*Much bouncing up and down and agreeing of Bears* Yes, they did do a good job with that.

So we'll keep researchin', but for the moment, what humoos think of Bears, or whether humoos can do anything properloo called thinkoo at all, seems to be an open questoo.

OK Bye
Margaret "Calliope" Meade

* Totally independent researchin', with no bias at all, funded by the We Make Lots of Money When People Think Squirrels See Humans as Other Squirrels Corporation.

4 people left us caaaandy:

Blogger Manuel said...

Yoo Bears am so clevoo! I's sorry I's finished yoos appearoo in mys book book now, becoo this would have made a fascinatin interloo. Mayboo yoo might come back latoo an tell me oo about this in anothoo chaptoo!

8:32 AM  
Blogger Leone said...

Spike just thinks of humans as another foo goo (food group) or as a springboard (ask Jen). But then I think Spike thinks of a lot of things as just another foo goo. His sole enemy is the spray bottle. Ohhhh.... evil spray bottle. He will have his revenge. Oh yes.

11:47 AM  
Blogger allison said...

Katy Catgirl has just reliably informed me that sophisticatoo (read old) kitties think of humoos as the means for opening cans of foo. And comfoo places to sleep and purroo.

4:58 PM  
Blogger Simon said...

Dogs view humoos as other dogs as well. They have to know where they fit in the pack. It's somethoo to do with once bein' wolves.

I think.

2:30 PM  

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