Monday, February 07, 2005

Day Four of the OJ Caaaandy Trial

This is Wolf "Stompy" Blitzoo bringing you Day Four of the OJ Caaaandy trial. Observer response has been intense to yesterday's stunning testimony from Kato "Jenn" Kaelin. However, we think maybe it is safer not to talk about it.

Let's go live to the courtroo.

Johnny “Blinky” Cochrane: Were you the arresting officer?

Detective Mark “Sargeant Mauja” Furman: Yes.

Johnny “Blinky” Cochrane: And you are from Canadia, aren’t you?

Court Appointed Translator “Noel ‘Snowflake’ Chompsky”: Canada.

Detective Mark “Sargeant Mauja” Furman: Yes.

Johnny “Blinky” Cochrane: And what kind of flesh-n-blood bears are most prevalent in Canadia?

Court Appointed Translator “Noel ‘Snowflake’ Chompsky”: Canada.

Detective Mark “Sargeant Mauja” Furman: Black bears, brown bears, grizzlies.

Johnny “Blinky” Cochrane: Oh… Uh… Well, where are flesh-n-blood polar bears prevalent?

Detective Mark “Sargeant Mauja” Furman: Hmmm... I think Alaska.

Johnny “Blinky” Cochrane: And what color are polar bears?

Detective Mark “Sargeant Mauja” Furman: White.

Johnny “Blinky” Cochrane: Ah ha!

*much gasping of Bears in courtroom*

Judge "Spike" Ito: Ordoo! Ordoo! Or I will have to cloo the courtroo!

It's pandemonioo here! This is Wolf "Stompy" Blitzoo, signing ooff.

8 people left us caaaandy:

Blogger Coral said...


1:21 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Objection to the bears! I am a real flesh and blood puppy and have been reading your blog now that my pets have started insisting that I stay in the 'puter room all day when pets are at work... I supose it to further my edumatcation, (that trip to the Vet to get 'tutored' didn't seem to help my brains any...). have decided I must (in the spirit of the courtroom) object to the bears insistence that Jenn and Jim be called 'Jim and Jenn'. We ALL know that girls are WAY better and should come first! I like girls so much when they come over to visit i wag my tail all crazy like and knock things over, jump up and down and then pee on the carpet. Then i feel bad 'cause i'm REALLY not supposed to pee on the carpet... that's when the pets do the most horrible... well they yell 'BAD DOG!' But anyway if I like girls so much that i pee on the carpet and get yelled at really bad like, so much that Spike the cat downstairs is probably laughing 'cause he's not getting yelled at from his pet for once, then you should at least be good bears and make sure Jenn gets first order priority.

But good luck with the sooing! I've never had caaaandy before but I bet i would like it, i like to all sorts of things! Maybe if it goes well I can soo for one billion cookies! Once I got into the cookie container and ate so many cookies that that I threw up four times on the carpet and my pets said I looked like a fat sausage! They said I musta eaten 3 pounds of cookies! Next time i'm going for 4 pounds.

Okay, bye


2:24 PM  
Blogger Leone said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

6:16 PM  
Blogger Leone said...

*sorry about that previous post, there were some errors*
Dear Bears, on behalf of Detective Mark 'Sargeant Mauja' Furman, I should tell you that Canada (Canadia) is a multicultural country. We even have a multicultural policy stating that everyone has a right to be a member of their own society regardless of racial, ethnic, cultural, or religious beginnings and to be a Canadian ( Now granted we are not a perfect country or anything, and there are lots of problems here, but I think I can safely say that even though polar bears are not prevalent in Canada (Canadia), Detective Mark "Sargeant Mauja" Furman is a Canadian throo and throo.

6:18 PM  
Blogger The Bears said...

Coral and Leone,

Please forgive me and my fellow Bears if the preceding seemed in any way to denigroo the citizoo of the fine country of Canadia (myself: Canada). That was not our intended meaning of the post.

During the OJ Simpson trial, Detective Mark Furman, the arroosting officer, was shown to have racist beliefs. This fact was capitalized on by OJ Simpson's attorney Johnny Cochrane.

In our current trial, Johnny "Blinky" Cochrane was also trying to capitalize on any racial aspects to the case to free his client. The fact that there were not any racial aspects did not prevent his grandstanding from shoocking the courtroo.

OK Bye
Noel "Snowflake" Chompsky

6:33 PM  
Blogger Leone said...

I understand now, I apologize. I didn't really follow the OJ trial as I should have. I remember talking about it in Grade 7 during the lunch hours but we didn't really know what was going on. I think we were preoccupied with the upcoming 'high' school of the following year. Ah, my foolish youth day.

1:44 AM  
Blogger Gilliam said...

Am very distress. Holds this to be self-evidoo, what oo look looks am createed equoo, whether them be oroo or white or green or yelloo with broo tattoo (or broo with yelloo tattoo, hasn't decideed). Whethoo them has nostroos or no nostroos, or only one nostroo! Whethoo them am mushy, beany, or pointy, fluffy, or suffooin from look look pattoo boodness.

10:13 AM  
Blogger Simon said...

It's like chocolate, dark chocolate and white chocolate!

Did I mention I've given up chocolate for Lent? It might be affecting my mind and judgment.

12:47 PM  

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