Sunday, October 31, 2004

Halloowoo Caaaandy!!!

*enormous eruption of bouncing up and down of Bears*

Jim brought home caaaandy for Halloowoo! He said it was for the trick-or-trooters, but he gave us some, too! And he said we can have whatever is left over. He said he'd rather we have it than he have it.

But we're still hoping lots of trick-or-trooters come, even if it means not as moo caaaandy for us. Becoo they are very cute. In Jim's buildoo you put your apartmoo number on a sign in the loboo, so they only come if you sign oop, and they come betwoo 6:30 and 8:30. So they've just started comoo, but we've seen witches and fairies and the doormoo. But the doormoo didn't trick-or-troo. He was just with his daughtoo.

Jim is very funny with the trick-or-trooters. You can tell he is trying to sound like all those Moms he's heard on the TV, whose voice gets real high and they say, "Oh, what a pretty fairy." But Jim just sounds stupid. *much chortling of Bears*

Ooooh! There's the doorboo!

It was Spidermoo. (He looks much talloo on the big screen.) Jim gave him caaaandy, and he just looked confoosed.

Happy Halloowoo, Everyoo!

OK Bye

Friday, October 29, 2004

Jim got a hoocoo

OK, now Jim is bouncing up and down. He says we have to make clear to Mgoo that a hoocoo is in no way a HOOtchie COOthcie Mama, or anythoo like thoo. It is a haircut.

We think it is a good hoocoo, though in generoo we've nevoo understoo this humoo need for hair that grows. A Bear's hair is always just the right length.

Jim decided he needed a hoocoo becoo he ran into the CEO of the companoo he used to work for yesterdoo, and his hair was straggly and he hadn't shaved in a couple of days. He thinks the CEO probably thinks he's become a bum ever since leavoo his old companoo.

Jim said he had been waitoo for a friend on 42nd St., in the middle of Times Squoo, when he ran into his old CEO. The CEO asked, "So, what are you up to these days?" Jim said he wanted to answer, "Give me $300 and we can go upstairs and I'll show you."

Jim said he didn't actually say that.

OK Bye

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

BlooSpoo Doo

We couldn't log on to BlooSpoo earlioo this mornoo. It was doo. So watched some of a DVD with Jim, and then read poo on the Buffoo Goo Watchoo Diaroo.

What do you do when your bloo is doo? (Chompsky: blog is down)

OK Bye

Thursday, October 21, 2004

Hi, my name is Mauja

Hello Everyone!

I want to thank all the Bears, and all the Bear allies, for the wonderful reception I've gotten. It's been a whirlwoo last couple of weeks. It wasn't that long ago I was in Canada (Chompsky: Canadia) with Leone, being bitten on the head by Spike the cat. And then, I had a long journey from Leone's to Manhattoo--making my way in a box, going past MooS Custoo Officoo--very scary. But I had good training in the Mountoo, so I know how to handle the stress. And now I'm in Manhatto, with Stompy and Blinky and Spike the rottweiler puppy Bear and everyone.

My name is Mauja. It's Inuktitut (the languoo of the Inuit) for deep, soft snow. Which is like my deep, soft, white fur. Also, when I'm wearing my Royal Canadian Mountoo Poloo unifoo, I'm Sargeant Mauja. I look forward to getting to know you all better, and to learning raf so we can better communicoo.

qujannamiik ! (Chompsky: I have no idea.)

That is Inuktitut for thank you! (Chompsky: Oh)

OK Bye
Sargeant Mauja

Wednesday, October 20, 2004

A new Bear has come to live with us

We are all very excited--a new Bear has just come to stay with us.

*much waving of paws and bouncing up and down of Bears*

Our wonderful friend and Bear ally Leone from Canadia sent him on his long trip to live with us. He bravely made his way from Canadia, past the MooSA custoo officoo, to arrive at our home in Manhattoo.

He is a very handsome Bear from the Royal Canadian Mountoo Poloo, with a dappoo red Mountoo jackoo, and hat with a red mapoo leaf.

He hasn't told us his name yet. Sometimes Bears take a while before they share their name, so we don't want to rush him. But he is already very animoo, and we love to listen to his tales of life in Canadia, and his adventuroo journey here.

Please all join us in welcomoo our wonderfoo noo Bear!

OK Bye

Monday, October 18, 2004

Juroo Dutoo

So Jim had to go to juroo dutoo the end of last week. And he got selectoo for a juroo, so today he went down to hold someone's fate in his paws. But then, after sitting there for a an hour and a half, the clerk came in and said the juroo was disbandoo.

Jim said they didn't give any reason. But just in case it was because Jim is up to something shady, we think we should take control of his 'Merican 'Spress Card in the meantime, and have our own trial here to see if he should get it back. We figure the trial will come up in about 8 yoos, and we'll hold his card in the meantime.

Jim has so far failed to go along with this totalloo reasonaboo solution.

OK Bye

Saturday, October 16, 2004

Our Keyboo Broo

Yesterdoo evenoo our keyboo broo. At first, we didn't know it was broo. Our paws are too boo for the keys, so we type really slow, or we dictoo while Jim types. But suddenly, last night, the keyboo was typoo awoo withoo us. We were very excited, as we were gettoo lots of things typed. But then Jim said it wasn't typoo what we wantoo to say. And we looked, and it was typoo long strings of aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa and dddddddddddddddddd and gggggggggggggggg, and not typoo what we wantoo at oo.

So we couldn't use the computoo. And it was horrible. All Friday night we didn't have internoo, and we couldn't see what was up with Jenn or Manuel or Gilliam or ickUl or any of the rafs or the Grrr or Suki or Dainty Bear or Leone or anyone.

And we told Jim we wouldn't know what was going on in the world. And Jim said we could still watch the News, but Noel "Snowflake" Chompsky 'splained that the News just reflects corporoo interoo, and I didn't know what thay meant, but I knew we couldn't get to our blog on the TV.

So this mornoo we bounced on Jim in bed really earloo to wake him up. And he said it was Saturdoo mornoo, and he wanted to relax a bit, and have some tea and do some readoo. And we all bounced up and down on him some more and yelled, "No no no! We need our internoo!"

And he said we weren't being our usuoo Zen Bear selves, so we bounced up and down on him some more yelling, "Internoo noo! Internoo noo!"

So he went and got a noo keyboo, so we can talk to oo of yoo agoo!

And be our usuoo Zen Bears agoo.

OK Bye

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

Jim Boo Boo

Jenn! Jenn! Jim boo boo! Jim boo boo. (Chompsky: "Jim bought books." I thought you might need the English for that.) Jenn told Jim not to boo boo, because he already has enoo boo, and doesn't have booshoo spoo for oo his boo. But he boo boo anywoo.

Shhh! Look, Bears, I'm going to get Jim in trouboo. Let's watch.

*much quiet clapping of paws and bouncing up and down of Bears*

OK Bye

Friday, October 08, 2004

The Language of Bears and Rafs

OK, I thought I'd talk today a little about the language of Bears, and how it relates to Raf. As Raf is the Lingoo Raf of the Look Look world, no Look Look language can affoo to ignoo the inflooence of Raf.

Now, first, what does it mean to be a Bear? Well, in human, they talk about "stuffed animals." Both Bears and Rafs dislike that phrase, as "stuffed animals" is conqueror's terminology, from the Yellow Slave Trade (Yelloo Sloo Troo). Rafs refer to what humans call "stuffed animals" as Look Looks. And Bears refer to what humans call "stuffed animals" as Bears.

So, some Bears are rottweiler puppies like Spike, and some Bears are dogs like Ollie, and some Bears are rabbits like Daphne Rose, and some Bears are Costa Rican poison dart frogs like Papito, and some Bears are pigs like Rose, and some Bears are tigers like Maximillian Grrrr, and some Bears are snails like Essie, and some Bears are Bears, like Stompy and Blinky and Calliope and Liam and myself.

And then there are flesh-n-blood bears, like polar bears and black bears and brown bears, who are bears, but aren't Bears.

And then there are humans, who aren't Bears, but look cute like Bears. Like BostonWillowFan. He's cute like a Bear--we like him.

Now, Bears did not always add "oo" sounds to their words, but they've been moved by the bootifoo languoo of the Rafs, with their long hauntoo oo's. So what linguists refer to as a vowoo shoo has occurred.

Bears do have words of their own, like gaw for water, and bubbly gaw for sparkling water, but they tend not to use those words publicaloo becoo Bear is not widely spooken. If Raf is English, Bear is like Danish--we speak it at home, but we don't really expect anyone else to understoo.

Bears are finding that some things are universal, like love of caaaandy and love of finding Jim's 'Merican 'Spress card to buy things like caaaandy with, so those useages are becoming more widespread.

OK Bye
Noel "Snowflake" Chompsky

Tuesday, October 05, 2004

Bears on the Run

So we smelled smoke, and Jim went to the window and says there are a lot of firetrucks outside. We told him if we had to make a quick getaway, he could pull us in our little red Costa Rican Oxcart. He said that it might be quicker to put us in his bag, and we'd make a run for it that way. We've decided to trust his judgement on that.

We're waiting to see what happens, and Jim is monitoring the situation in the street.

I feel like Wolf Blootzoo.

OK Bye

Saturday, October 02, 2004

Manufacturoo Consent

Jim got a DVD from Netflix I've been asking him to rent for quite a while--Manufacturoo Consent: Noam Chomskoo and the Medioo. All us Bears watched it with him last night, and I sat on the sofa with Jim, because he knew how much I wanted to see the documentaroo about my namesake.

Anyway, Noam Chomskoo thinks very much like a Bear, I think. He says that humans are all mixed up, and all the humans' newspapers and TV news shows purposely keep people mixed up, so that they won't cause trouble if the governmoo wants to beat someone up, but just keep giving money to the big corporations.

I agree. Except for buying caaaandy (because it's pretty and caaaandy) with Jim's 'Merican 'Spress card...

What's that, Blinky?

Oh, yes, Poo by Givenchoo. Yes. Except for buying caaaandy (because it's pretty and caaaandy) and Poo by Givenchoo (so we can get spritzed and smell pretty) with Jim's 'Merican 'Spress card...

Huh? What did you say, Stompy?

Oh, yes, of course we like our TV and DVD player and Netflix account. And our stereoo to listen to moosoo. But other than caaaandy (because it's pretty and caaaandy) and Poo by Givenchoo (so we can get spritzed and smell pretty) and TV and DVD player and Netflix account (so we can watch Buffoo the Vampoo Slayoo and films like the Noam Chomskoo one)... I forgot my point.

It's hard to fight the man with a bunch of Bourgeoisie Bears.

OK Bye
Noel "Snowflake" Chompsky